So, I’ve been going through a time rougher than usual. I’ve been spiraling pretty hard the last couple months. I still don’t have a job again, things are getting shut off on me, and I’m out of money. That last job I had for about four months wasn’t paying me what I earned so I left. I’ve had a few interviews but some of them I couldn’t take because of my car situation and the others I just didn’t get. Here I am now, my least favorite time of year and I can’t even get myself a cheeseburger to properly grieve. I mean, I can get one but I’m hanging onto my last fifteen dollars for ‘Plan B’. Probably this weekend. When I lose my internet I won’t be able to communicate let alone look for work. So, yeah, sometime this next week I’ll likely take a walk to In-N-Out, eat my last meal, and then go home to finish things. I never got to have the few life things I’ve always wanted and now I can’t even get a job so as to barely survive. I’m very tired and there just isn’t much reason to keep going on. The simple truth is that in my experience people typically look for reasons to live, many spend their existence looking for reasons to not die, lately I can’t find any reason to not kill myself. These are important distinctions that most people don’t consider.
Really the only problem I’m having with this decision is logistical. It’s a terrible waste for these useful organs to just die and wind up as ash or as practice for dissection. But seeing as I’ve never died before I know how to time things so I’m found soon enough to maintain viability for transplant. There’s a fifty percent chance of compatibility so, my organs would be pretty handy to transplant. At any rate, if anyone wants to lend me about four thousand dollars, that’ll buy me another better still, if anyone can put me in touch with Martin Gero, I have a pitch for the new Stargate series. I have a way to tie in all the previous series AND move forward without getting hung up on all the established lore but still respecting it. A couple broad strokes: The real reason behind inventing the human-form replicators and a rogue faction of the Alterans fleeing to other galaxies. There, just a taste to hopefully pique Martin Gero’s interest. So, go, now and get this in front of him so I can maybe get a job writing for my third or second favorite thing of all time.
In any case, thanks for being there and humoring me all you have. Excelsior and all that.
