I’ve been watching Andor again. I started at the beginning introducing a friend to Andor and I just finished season one as I write this. And yeah, I’m writing this late, I know. All the same, it’s horrific how poignant this whole show is right now. The thing I’ll never understand, these shit-clowns fucking up everything right now clearly haven’t read their oh-so-precious scriptures that they bastardize to try and support their unconstitutional “legislation” so, they obviously have never watched, let alone read anything worthwhile and yet, step for goose-step they somehow manage to play out every trope and cliché of dystopian fiction. I’ve always said this, the single most terrifying horror film I’ve ever watched is Idiocracy. People laughed at me like I was crazy. I pointed out to them all the shit going on twenty years ago, things I explained to them following through to logical conclusion and here we are. Exactly where I warned them so long ago. And yet, STILL I’m the crazy person for not indulging in “reality” TV. I’M the lunatic for acknowledging the over step of the mormon church usurping secular government and legislative process throughout the state of utah. Alright, this is supposed to be fun stuff so, I’ll get back to that.
I’m starting the first episode of season two now. I love getting deeper into the various models of TIE ships. And I want this on the record. I’ve often explained to people how much I distrust that Dyson bloke. Give me a second, this connects to the Galactic Imperial TIE craft. Dyson makes vacuum cleaners yeah, I’m talking about that twat. For the record, James Dyson’s company has invented a number of including robot vacuum cleaners which is a whole other conversation but for the sake of brevity, I’ll be simply focusing on just a few of their inventions. He started with making more efficient vacuum cleaners that focuses less on designing or redesigning filters but rather, designed a mechanism that manipulates the air flow through a series of cyclonic atmospheric rotation. This action accomplishes a few things. It mitigates the over all size of the apparatus. Traditional vacuum cleaners are designed for linear airflow through a series a filters, this process requires specific areas to accommodate specific volumes of air as the air passes through a number of filters. The Dyson vacuums direct the air flow into a cyclonic action which intrinsically takes up less space. This action serves another function as the cyclone generates centrifugal motion which propels particulate matter out and away from the central atmospheric body1 and thus collecting the particulate matter into storage container. Now, that’s all fine and well EXCEPT that after sometime of revolutionizing home cleaning floor cleaning James Dyson started progressing his air flow technologies in an ultimately more destructive direction. Let’s focus on these air flow manipulation technologies and then the ballbarrow, STAY WITH ME THERE IS A POINT! Now, in 2006 Dyson redirected his attention from sucking to blowing…yeah, that’s what I mean. The Dyson Airblade hand dryers started showing up everywhere. He adapted his previous technology to compress and propel air in an immediate direction, similar in function to jet engines. See? I’m bringing it around. This led to his developing the technology for his bladeless fans. A process of ionically charging a shifting volume of air would simultaneously repel particulate matter from the air and propel the air into the designated direction. Now, this is where Dyson’s vacuum cleaners intersect with TIE technology.
If you’re not familiar, TIE in the designation of TIE Fighter is actually an acronym. Twin Ion Engine. The large panels on either side of the TIE Fighter’s cockpit are in fact not-so-much wings rather, the engines. The segments of these panels are each a series of “scoops”, collecting particulate matter as it moves, ionically charging said matter, and then discharging that matter through other “scoops” or vents of some sort propelling the matter of the engine into the opposite direction which allows it to scoop more matter, and recycle the process indefinitely2. Developing the technology of his Ballbarrow, yes, that’s the name of a thing. Dyson worked out the inherently versatile and adaptive properties of using a sphere instead of a wheel for conveyance. Not dissimilar to the cockpit design of the TIE craft. Also, Dyson Sphere is something else, I’ll probably cover that later at some point. Now then, with all that experience, research, practical execution, and the British accent James Dyson is clearly at least by some generations a precursor to what we see as the Galactic Empire portrayed throughout the Star Wars franchise. And that’s why I’ve never trusted Dyson and his vacuum cleaners.
This is one of those things I first scoffed in passing just to shit on something that was stupidly popular for stupid reasoning and then I started to think about what I was saying and realized just how poignant my initial response was. It Turns out that my knee-jerk snark tends to be more prophetic than funny at times and yet people seem to die nonetheless. I don’t think there are any confirmed casualties connected to cyclonic vacuum cleaners but then again, I just haven’t done the homework yet…nah, I’m sure no one has died from them…yet. I’m sure things are fine, though.
